I have told you about the health and financial problems I have had to deal with while here but I NEVER told anyone what I am about to tell you and it is a big part of the hell I have lived through ALONG WITH the illness and poverty. There have to be at least two or three books in this mess some day. You just can't make this stuff up.

Before I moved here, some people I know murdered a person I was close to and, after I got here and was able to check things out, I was certain they murdered the person but I didn't have any evidence that would hold up in court. (Remember that I also studied New Mexico and Federal law before I moved here.)

I spoke with the person's MD and he told me he was also certain the person was murdered and knew who committed the crime but he couldn't prove it because of the way they committed the crime. He explained how he believed they committed the crime and why it would not leave any evidence the local police could pick up with their limited investigative resources.

You have to understand that small towns can't afford to hire just one CSI agent much less a team, build a lab, and the rest of the Hollywood crap you see on TV. If you want to get away with murder, you do it in a small town because their investigative resources are as close to zero as you can get. We are talking really old school policing.

I also knew these people committed a federal felony because this crime was committed across state borders and the murderers left the state after the crime, which is called fleeing a state to avoid prosecution and is a federal felony. BUT, AGAIN, I didn't have any evidence and I knew from my training and experience that, if I showed up at the feds to report a possible crime with no evidence, they would flag my file and ignore me so that, if I did show up later with evidence, they would pull up my file, see the red flag, and ignore my evidence. It really helps to know how the system works before you can use the system.

But also know that murder has no statute of limitation so that they can be tried for this crime 100 years later.

More than a year after the crime, I still couldn't figure out how to get these criminals held accountable for their crime against this person I cared about, I was thinking about it one day, and God said, "Use your military training." I knew what he meant.

You have to understand that SAC gave us really great classes on just about everything. I had a secret classification, which had legal ramifications and we were trained in detail to understand those ramifications in relation to how the FBI worked. We were also trained to deal with the infamous and very capable Russian KGB because, in ECM, their military had to get through our stuff before they could get to any US targets including our planes, ships, tanks, and everything else, putting us at the top of the KGB spy list. We had classes in dealing with all of these things and we were very well trained.

In dealing with the FBI, we were trained to know that there were things which were perfectly legal, which would get us on the FBI watch list because ALL spies did these things. Therefore, if we did any of these things, we would be put on the FBI watch list FOR LIFE, because of our security clearances. God was telling me to get myself put on that watch list so I could indirectly expose the FBI to the federal felony I wanted them to investigate.

I had to get the FBI to watch me AND everyone I come in contact with without committing a crime and then find a way to trick those people into confessing to the watching FBI that they committed the crime. This would be tricky and risky and it would mean I would be watched by the FBI for the rest of my life but that was a small price to pay to get justice for the person I cared about.

You have to understand that the FBI works on a multi level system to where, if you do certain things, called "raising red flags", they put your personal information in a computer to monitor your communications looking for more "red flags". If you raise a small red flag, the computer uses a special program to see whether it should send that communication to a human for further analysis. If not, the computer flushes your communication out of the system to make room for more communications.

If the computer sends the communication to a human, the human decides whether to forward the signal to a upper level human or flush it out of the system. If the communication gets forwarded, it will be evaluated at several levels before it reaches the top and is finally forwarded to an FBI agent who will decide whether to set up a folder to regularly monitor your communications, looking for a pattern, or forward it to the team system.

In the team system, you will be first reviewed by a team to see whether they will regularly review your case to look for patterns or forward it to a field team to work on just your case. I had to get to the field team as quickly as possible without committing a crime.

If you raise enough small red flags, you get moved up very quickly, if you raise a few medium red flags, you get moved up faster and, if you raise one or more large red flags, you get there right now. Also, at the lower level, they just monitor you but as you move up, at a certain point, they begin to monitor everyone you are in contact with to make sure you are not using other people as carriers to transmit intel to a spy. I had to get to the level where they monitor everyone I come in contact with as quickly as possible without committing a crime.

I thought and prayed about this for several weeks before beginning. I had never committed a crime and had actually worked with the police and FBI on a few occasions. I had no plans to ever commit any crimes and had a number of opportunities to make a large amount of money lying to and stealing from people that I turned down because I would rather live in poverty than be a criminal. I had made that decision decades before.

To do this, I needed someone who belonged to another nation, preferably an intelligence person for their military to make contact with. I could ask them all of the questions I wanted but couldn't give them any classified information.

I knew about an Israeli intelligence officer who was stationed here in the US to do PR for the nation of Israel. I knew he was a career officer and, therefore, he would not compromise his mission for anything short of an Israeli national emergency, therefore, I knew the FBI was all over him like a bad case of measles monitoring all of his contacts and communications, he had to keep himself clean of even the slightest possibility of espionage to keep from ending his mission by being run out of the US by the FBI, and, therefore, he could not get me involve with any other Israeli agents who would escalate the matter putting me in a bad situation, you know, like me getting killed by Israeli Mossad. For me, he was a safe contact to use to get the FBI to monitor me.

So, after a few weeks of thinking this through very well, I made contact with "Avi" to ask him questions about the Israeli military situation, he was my unwitting stoolie and he never knew what I was doing or that I was using him. I knew he couldn't provide me with classified intel and I already knew the answers to almost all of the questions I asked but I needed something to e-mail him about. I knew this got me on the FBI watch list but at the lowest level because these were just small red flags but I also knew that, if I sent enough small red flags, it would eventually get me to the top where the FBI would watch me and everyone I was in contact with.

You also have to understand that I live within 30 miles of the main headquarters for the White Sands Missile Range (WSMR), which is one of the most important, classified, and secure US military research and development facilities on this planet, at least as classified as Area 51. That, me having a secret clearance, AND me making contact with a foreign intelligence officer is at least a medium size red flag and will get me moved to the top of the FBI watch list faster.

I had been regularly sending e-mails to Avi asking military questions a few times a week for about three months when God opened another door that would be guaranteed to get me to the top of the FBI watch list where they would assign my case to a team and start watching everyone I made contact with. It is amazing how well God had this all planned out for me.

A local church brought Avi here to give a speech to Christians at the Otero County Fair Grounds, about 30 miles from the main headquarters for WSMR, you know that some of the people who worked at WSMR were going to be there for the speech (a very high security risk), the FBI were going to be all over that meeting and Avi like a bad case of measles, the FBI would review all cases involving locals who had previously made contact with Avi and would be specifically watching for those people, you know, like me, and, if I made contact with and spoke to Avi at that meeting it would GUARANTEE that my case would be assigned to an FBI field team that would monitor all of my communications and contacts just like I wanted but I had to be very careful to not commit a crime. I was dancing on incredibly thin ice and knew that, when I walked in that door for that meeting, the FBI would automatically assign one or more agents to watch just me. This was one of the biggest red flags I could raise without committing a crime.

I walked about five or six feet inside the door so I wouldn't be blocking the door and stopped to look over the situation for a few seconds.

You have to understand that, when you are trained to deal with KGB agents you learn that all agents are agents, regardless of whether they are KGB, FBI, CIA, or any other nation's agents and there are certain things they have to do in order to get their job done. All you have to do is know what those things are and you will be able to identify most agents because they will be doing those things.

Note that to be as inconspicuous as possible, they were all wearing regular civilian clothes to blend in with the other people.

Avi had his lectern at the east end of the long meeting hall with two long tables in front of his lectern with all of his books and printed material spread out on the tables for people to look at and purchase or just take. I was surprised at how many different items Israel had provided him with. The Israelis are very professional.

The FBI had a small group of agents at the very rear of the seating so they could watch everyone in the room with individuals scattered throughout the room and they had two wired agents "looking over" the material on the tables (for a very long time), one assigned to each table on both sides of Avi, so they could record all conversations between Avi and the people at the meeting. I had just plunged myself into the international spy game to get justice for the person I cared about and it was important that I played the game right and survived.

I knew when I walked into the room that they knew who I was because they would have reviewed my files because of me making contact with Avi in e-mails and they would have assigned someone to watch me but I didn't want to be too obvious or eager but also wanted to act a little suspicious like a spy would. I chose to sit on the opposite side of the room as far from the door as possible in the third row where I could see everyone with a glance and even look just a little suspicious but not too suspicious. I wanted to be close to the front so they could all watch me and I could appear eager to meet with Avi but not right on the front and I had previously made a list of four questions to ask him, for which I already knew the answers because I have been watching and studying the situation in Israel since the Six Day War in 1967.

I sat down at the opposite end of the third row and would occasionally look around like I was a little uneasy but it was to watch the FBI working the meeting. I could see them, I knew Avi could see them, and we were all three players in a very serious game of international espionage. I was now almost at the top of the FBI's watch list and all I had to do was talk to Avi before leaving.

When Avi started speaking, the two wired agents at the tables sat down and we all listened to his information with the feds doing their job in this dance.

When Avi finished speaking, a group of people jumped up and formed a line to speak with Avi and the two wired agents returned to the tables but I remained seated until the line went away to watch the FBI work. Whenever someone of particular interest started talking with Avi, the two wired agents suddenly developed an interest in materials really close to Avi and the person so they could better record the conversation.

After the line went away and it was mostly just the FBI and myself there to make sure they would all be watching me, I looked around the room for a few seconds, thought, "it is show time", and went up to ask Avi my four questions. When I got to Avi, the two wired agents suddenly developed an interest in material on the tables right next to me. Avi and I shook hands, I asked my four questions, we exchanged a few pleasantries, and I left knowing I had just made it to the top of the FBI watch list.

Mission accomplished and I had not committed any crimes. I was now dancing with the big boys on very thin ice and still had a mission to get justice for the person I cared about and who had been murdered. I now had the feds watching me and everyone I made contact with and had to figure out how to get the criminals to confess to murdering the person I cared about.

After that meeting, I continued to e-mail Avi questions to show persistence and keep me at the top of the FBI watch list.

Then God opened another door for me to insure I will definitely be watched by the FBI for the rest of my life. I love solving problems, designing things, helping people, and love developing counter measures or weapons systems to counter other people's weapons systems or measures. I had been watching camera footage for UAVs firing missiles at enemy soldiers and got to thinking there had to be a better weapon system which would more accurately kill bad guys attacking our soldiers and save the military millions of dollars.

I designed a weapon system for a new type of UAV, contacted the assistant secretary for the Department of Defense (DOD), not the secretary, who is a political appointee, but the assistant secretary, who actually works there, and asked if he would be interested in a weapon system I designed. It really helps to know how things work.

He said he was interested so I worked up a prospectus and sent it to him. A few weeks later I received a letter telling me they really liked my weapon system and told me to send my prospectus to a certain company that makes other UAVs.

It is important to note that the DOD is NOT going to have you contact and potentially bother one of their weapons systems manufacturers unless they really are interested in your weapon system. If they were not interested, they would just give you some sort of lame excuse.

Remember that the FBI were watching me and now knew I had designed a weapon system the DOD was interested in and, therefore, would now be classified intel.

I reworked my prospectus into a sales prospectus, put it in registered mail, and sent it off to that company. "Hey, I might even get a little money for this thing and at least help with my poverty thingy." There was hope.

I never got confirmation they had received the letter or a response from the company about my weapon system so it is very likely they bribed the postman to not do the registered mail thingy (Postal fraud - a federal felony), and probably filed my idea in the trash can because they are not in the business of saving the military millions of dollars and are in the business of costing the military millions of dollars.

At least we know the FBI witnessed these crimes and no telling what investigations that started.

After about three to four weeks of not receiving anything back about my prospectus, God said, "Hey, stupid, what about this?" I realized that, if I offered to sell the weapon system to Israel, it would definitely get me permanently on the top of the FBI watch list but might even result in getting my weapon system built and in action resulting in the US military purchasing the weapon system to save US soldiers' lives and the military millions of dollars. I could kill two birds with one stone though I knew it wasn't very likely they would buy the weapon system for the same reasons.

You have to understand that, if you get permission from DOD, you can sell anything you want to anyone you want. You could sell nukes to Osama Bin Laden. To keep it legal, I had to state in at least one communication that, if Israel was interested in my weapon system, it had to go through DOD.

I knew that Avi was not the right channel for making contact concerning the sale of my weapon system because him getting involved in such a transaction in any way could get him run out of the country, compromise his mission, and he knew it.

You have to understand that Avi knows how he has to play the game to stay in country. If he gets ANY communication which could even remotely be considered espionage, he has to report that communication to the FBI and wash his hands of the deal completely. He can't even tell his bosses about that contact and them send other agents or even Mossad to deal with it or he is out of here. Avi knew that the FBI were monitoring ALL of his communications and KNOW when he gets such contacts, therefore, if he doesn't report such communications and wash his hands of them, they run him out of country.

So I worked up a brief legal query about Israel being interested in my weapon system and e-mailed it to him FORCING him to turn me into the FBI for POTENTIAL espionage. Note that potential espionage is not a crime, just espionage, but it will definitely get you at the top of the FBI watch list forever and is the biggest red flag you can raise without committing a crime. I waited two weeks without getting a response from Avi and sent him a second e-mail forcing him to turn me into the FBI twice.

I continued sending Avi e-mails asking questions to show persistence for a few years until the FBI inadvertently proved to me that they were watching me very closely.

This where things begin to get really complex really fast so pay very close attention or I'll lose you. You would be amazed at how many people committed crimes against me and those I care about. I started to get the feeling there is a sign on my forehead that says, "Screw me."

I had previously been told by several United States Cycling Federation (USCF) employees that I had been black listed by Chris Carmichael in the US and Europe for coaching because he couldn't beat me (their words). This is a federal felony because it is a violation of RICO and is called racketeering and, since I was also black listed in Europe, it is a violation of international and other nations' laws but it would have been my word against their word so I couldn't go to the FBI about this.

This caused me to not be able to get a job in bicycle racing anywhere, contributing to my poverty. One day, after I knew the FBI were watching me very closely, I was thinking about this when God said, "Hey, stupid, what about this?"

I decided to contact a USCF coach in Colorado Springs and see if I could get him to confess to this crime with the FBI listening.

They had openly confessed this crime to me before, why not again?

I called one of their coaches pretending to not know I was black listed and told him I wasn't getting a response to my resume being sent to teams or returns on my phone calls and asked if he knew why. He said exactly the same thing the others had said, "Carmichael black listed you." So I asked him why, just like I had the others, and he said, "Because he couldn't beat you. Everyone knows about it", just like all of the others had said and I thought, "And now the FBI know about it", and hung up.

Did it start an investigation?

Remember me telling you about an FBI investigation in which Lance Armstrong and a number of others were being investigated with a grand jury investigation when Lance played golf with Billy Boy Clinton, the investigation was temporarily dropped, and, after Billy Boy crashed and burned last year and Trump got elected, they brought that case back and it is now ready for trial because the investigation just went underground until they could prosecute?

A number of the top cycling people being investigated were the ones who black listed me so I figure it started the investigation and the FBI found other corruption starting other investigations.

Later I read about Union Cycliste International (UCI - the bicycle racing international governing body) officials being forced to resign because of corruption. The investigation had gone international because I was also black listed in Europe making it an international crime and in violation of other nations' laws. There are just too many coincidences, especially in relation to timing.

You have to understand that FBI investigations can take anywhere from 10 years to more than 20 years because they don't like to lose in court. You have to be very patient about such things.

Also, during this time, the very corrupt New Mexico State government started committing crimes against me concerning my student loans, which means they were committing crimes involving the use of US government money, making these crimes federal felonies.

I kept sending them deferments for my loans so I wouldn't be charged interest on the loans until I got well, got back to work, and could pay the loans off so they wouldn't grow so big I couldn't pay them off. The state was obviously throwing those deferments away so they could steal money from me to increase their wealth.

Remember that the FBI was monitoring all of my communications, including the snail mail leaving my place so they would know when I sent those deferments out and the state not receiving deferments on federal money required a federal investigation to see why the state was not getting my deferments. A quick check via the postal system would have shown they were receiving my deferments and require an investigation into the state government for fraud involving federal funds.

Also, when I finally got the Ford Foundation to transfer my loans to their control, the state charged off a $25,000 portion of those loans but didn't remove that loan from the state books and charged it off again later, blatantly stealing another $25,000 from me. I protested that theft several times to the state and to the Ford Foundation several times with no results. The student loan thing is clearly a corrupt racket to steal money from students who can't afford attorneys.

I played that game until I could no longer afford the phone calls (they didn't have an 800 number I could call, of course) and I knew the FBI knew something was wrong. I had realized that, without the money to hire an attorney, there was nothing I could do so I let it go for the FBI to handle it. There is no telling what other state corruption they have uncovered with that investigation because New Mexico is considered one of the three most corrupt states in the US and I just gave the FBI reason to investigate because of federal funds being used in those crimes.

There were a bunch of other federal crimes committed against me over the years with me playing them out long enough to make sure the FBI knew what was going on and would start an investigation.

Then one of the people who had murdered the person I cared about came down to murder me and made it very clear he intended to do so after he had played a game with the local police to throw off any suspicion of him being involved. I blew his game all to pieces making him a prime suspect if anything happened to me and he was forced to return home and send someone else so he could have an alibi by being somewhere else.

Remember the FBI was watching?

Crossing state lines to commit a crime is a federal felony.

While he was here, I tricked him into discussing having murdered the other person with the other people involved while I knew the FBI was watching. Mission accomplished and now all we need is for the FBI to finish the investigation, the arrests, and the trials.

While the other person was here to murder me, I decided it would be a good idea to make extra sure the FBI were really watching me.

SAC trained us to be able to tell when we were being worked by a KGB agent and gave us some tests to use to confirm our suspicions. We were taught to run one of these tests on the suspected person and, if they failed, contact our shop supervisor who would contact OSI and OSI would take care of it.

I decided to run one of these tests on the FBI because, after all, an agent is an agent and the test will work on all agents. I figured that it would probably be a very marginal fail and I should consider even the slightest fail as a sign they are definitely watching me. I was shocked and even disappointed at how badly they failed the test. It was just blatantly obvious that they are watching me very closely and, partly because of me having started all of these other investigations, it is a very high level case. I was stunned and, at the same time complemented. There is absolutely no doubt they are watching me. They unintentionally told me so.

There have been a number of other crimes committed against me during this time I have not even mentioned. Soon a lot of people will be going to jail and, hopefully, the worst will be over for me soon.

You put all of this together with my illness and poverty with me fighting for my life and just to survive with all of these people committing crimes against me, it has been an indescribable living hell you can't even begin to imagine and I still have not told you everything, there is much more but this essay is already very long.

But, no matter how bad this has gotten, God has always been there taking care of me with just enough just in time. He has always been there guiding and helping me survive incredible things.

I feel sorry for pagans because they would be screwed.

BTW, they didn't murder me.

Man plans, God laughs.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

You better....